On April 26th, six years ago, my sisters and I lost our dad. As I've written about in my own writings, he was someone who always tried to be present with others. He was there for us every chance he could be, fully present with listening ears wide open. In Christina's blog below, she reminds me of the power of listening to understand rather than respond. And that even a seemingly small moment or interaction shared with someone else can be a valuable one, as one's time and attention can't be borrowed. Christina - thank you for your awareness and your expression of gratitude here.

- Amanda

When she sent this over, Christina said she didn’t think it was “fitting with the times” right now, since things are opening up and feeling “lighter/brighter”. That may be so, and in the same moment I have the opposing thought that there are likely still many beings working through this same experience she describes… but perhaps can’t find the words to express it. What I find remarkable is her thought of consciously accessing the same mental mechanism that allows thoughts to pass in their own time, and speeding it up, manually. It’s my hope that sharing these kinds of “shameful” thoughts, and working to find ways forward, together, continues to move more mainstream.

- Corey

Muayyad wrote a piece back in September including a list of his personal and professional aspirations, deeply reflecting on how there is always room to improve and grow on an individual level and what that means to him. (Link to piece)

Now, Muayyad has written yet another self-reflective piece below where he highlights his assessment of one specific intention from his self-portrait through recent experiences. I love that Muayyad so willingly shares bits and pieces of this introspective journey, and what he personally does to strive for his goals and yearnings. And I can surely relate in that sometimes, it simply takes writing about the journey to converge all the thoughts together and see them more clearly and objectively.

- Amanda

Speaking words out loud has always felt powerful to me, whether through mantra, affirmations, or song. I remember a Hypnotist friend of mine once shared the idea that it’s not linguistic happenstance that to “spell” means how to construct words, and also to cast magic.

I hope you enjoy this simple and powerful piece of auto-magic (auto meaning casting it on yourself). Thanks, Kurt!

- Corey

One of my most prized possessions is a letter my Grandpop wrote to me when I graduated high school. It was hot off the press of his personal typewriter, made wonderfully unique by the imperfectly set letter here and there, and his flowing signature at the end. It contained so much of the affection and wisdom he didn’t, or couldn’t, express to me through words. I love Jack’s practice he describes here, an updated version of what I experienced. I find it so beautiful when one person’s practice not only helps their own transformation into a new stage of being, but also serves to create connection and deeper understanding for others, too.

- Corey

I have been lucky enough to work alongside Jayme (physically! ... before Covid) in Manhattan a couple years back, and to get to know her and see her beautiful work in graphic and layout design. Her efforts in this area have greatly contributed to making our CFC website more user-friendly, organized, and appealing to the eye. Now, she has even written a 60-second thought for our community!

Quick backstory on this - I had asked Jayme if she would share a grateful-themed anti pet peeve. She responded back with something truly moving and wonderfully-written, and I loved her personal story and the message behind it. So I asked if she would expand on it a bit more. And she immediately did! I hope you enjoy this blog from Jayme.

-Amanda

One of the new skills I’ve been practicing since COVID is learning a third language. While I’m getting better at putting basic sentences together in Japanese, I’m still far off from making intentional choices that take the connotation and energy of each word into account, like I do in English. My favorite linguistic learning so far is how there are certain phrases to say in certain social situations. The call/response of entering a shop, or announcing you’ve arrived home are set phrases that everyone speaks and responds to, almost robotically. I love the American ones we have in English that Joe touches on in this piece. It reminds me that the words I say are but one small part of my communication, their true meaning is colored by the energy and emotion I transmit as I send them out.

Note: Joe mentions hygge, about which our friend Rob Rose wrote a piece on earlier this year. It’s linked here if you dig the idea and want to read more.

http://www.cvcommunityforchange.org/robert-rose-1/2020/4/17/cfc-blog-59-finding-hygge-in-our-work

- Corey

Bill’s beautiful piece reminds me of just how interconnected our world is. How crazy is it that one could witness birth and death in the same day? Hold space - as Bill describes himself doing here - for both deep joy and deep mourning within the span of hours?

I have been clinging to a phrase recently: “grief is ultimately love with nowhere to go.” While life is not a zero sum game, it strikes me how fluid experiences can be, how amorphous our emotions - especially at a time in history like this. It is often embracing this fluidity and having an open heart and mind (something I was thinking about two years ago when I was transitioning to grad school) that I know helps me weather the inevitable ups and downs of life.

- Lauren

I, along with a couple other members of the CFC, recently received this poem LIVE (spoken out loud on Zoom) from our friend Kurt Peloquin, sent to him by the author (his friend). It had the remarkable effect of clearing my mental story, and RE-MINDing me of how much feels possible in my life when I make the conscious choice to ACT from a sense of belonging to a JOY-focused community.

Perhaps this poem might affect you, too.

-Corey

In reading Muayyad’s reflection on performance I’m reminded of the Boy Scout oath I would repeat at pack and troop meetings so long ago. It was something we learned by rote, fully memorized, and would repeat as part of the ritual of every gathering. Although most of us (myself included) did it as a perfunctory performance, I do believe hearing and saying them so frequently did wire us to hold ourselves to a higher standard. I’ve been in performance reviews where there were clear KPIs to hit, and it was a clear PASS/FAIL. What I like so much about Muayyad’s self portrait is his idea that what I’m good and bad at is a DYNAMIC thing, it’s situational, and NOT a linear progression. When I was younger, maxims sometimes seemed trite, but the longer I spend in this existence, the more I think they better encompass the fullness of the human expression.

- Corey

The acronym FOMO (F.ear O.f M.issing. O.ut) started it all. Then came its counter state, JOMO (J.oy O.f M.issing. O.ut). Of course, these two states have always existed, but perhaps before the spread of these terms through social media (the very format that can easily create the first one) were never able to be expressed so succinctly before, nor were felt by so many. I can easily tag a number or moments in life when I’ve felt each one. What I find really fascinating about the human experience is times when you can have two feelings, or feel two emotions at the exact same time.

This piece captivates me, even after multiple reads. Christina’s ability to separate from space-time to consider all the particular wants she feels in such fine detail is remarkable. What is most notable is how she expresses when her feelings of Want arise, their opposite often also comes up almost immediately after. Sometimes all that’s necessary is a clearer thought of what we think we want to realize it isn’t what we really need. There’s something else. And something else. Of course, there’s also the added complexity of understanding if something is a Want or a Need, but I believe most humans have become pretty clear on that difference in these past number of months in a global pandemic.

Though I definitely don't wake up at 5:30am, I can feel and hear exactly what my sister joyfully experiences at the break of dawn on a daily basis. Her poetic words walk me through a calm yet lively morning. It's amazing how having the right start to the day can set you up to experience life with a refreshed mind and revived soul.

I’ve loved becoming a morning person myself over the last couple years. It’s become a time where I’m most conscious of my mindset, my physical body, my feelings, my spirit and my inspirations.

Christina’s writing also reminds me of the importance of cherishing good health for all the ways it allows me to experience this gratifying natural world that stretches vastly outside our windows each day. Thank you for sharing this powerful blog, Christina.

- Amanda

I am so excited to share a first blog from our good friend, Regina Anderson!

I often remind myself “you can’t pour from an empty cup” when I struggle to justify taking breaks or practicing self-care - and I love how Regina’s idea of “the well of reciprocity” uses a similar metaphor to talk about professional relationships - and with some practical ideas for pathways forward! The term “reciprocity” was what stuck out to me the most and reminded me of the Desmond Tutu quote the we tend to reference often:

"I am because you are, and you are because I am; that indeed a person is a person only through other persons."
This seems to be especially important in a workplace setting where you are working on a team trying to achieve a set of goals - and I love the image of a company having a culture where people are able to refill their wells when they feel like they are running dry. A kind of collective compassion. Thank you, Regina.

-Lauren

Pip, Brynne, and I had the privilege of sitting down (virtually) with April Tam Smith, founder of PS Kitchen, a few weeks ago to talk to her about the mission of the nonprofit restaurant she founded with her husband, Graham, only a few short years ago. I’ve gotten to know April very well - first through her partnership with Restore NYC and now through the Community for Change - but I love how every time I talk to her, I seem to learn new incredible stories. Whether you have been to PS Kitchen before and know April’s story, or if this is a new name for you, I am sure you’ll take away something new in this podcast (you may or may not learn how Graham proposed to her, and you may or may not want to have a tissue hand). Check it out below!

PS (ha!) - PS Kitchen was recently featured for their work during COVID-19, helping staff stay employed and help feed essential workers on the frontlines: https://abc7ny.com/food/neighborhood-eats-nyc-restaurant-donates-10025-of-its-profits-/6244682/

- Lauren

I jumped in quickly to write a lead in ahead of Amanda because, wow, I found this awesome!

Thank you for this gift, Christina…wow. (And the four Posa sisters continue lighting up the world!)

I have…

...just one COMPLAINT…

…the title…

I would love for the sequel – I want there to be a follow-up or two! - to be titled “Inside My Typical Mind” while this one "Inside My Crazy Mind” suggests that your mind is, in some fashion, many standard deviations away from our own in how it works!

What a gift this piece is, Christina! I thought of a quote about “our crazy minds” that resonated with me about five years ago and is one that I cherish so deeply on my journey:

“To the extent that you stand in your own shoes and love yourself with all your craziness is the degree you can understand the craziness and confusion of others… and something happens: you are no longer afraid of people…” - Ani Pema Chodron

During one of the sessions at our annual Sundance gathering a few weeks ago, our friend Rudy Karsan offered up that he has only learned three things in his life. This caught our attention for two reasons. The first - if you know Rudy, you know he is so full with wisdom, and so to hear him say he has only learned a few things in his life made us all say, “wait…what??”

But the second was the #1 thing he learned - to trust his gut. To drill down deeper, Pip and Brynne recorded a podcast with Rudy on what he means by this - what is the gut? What is it made up of? How do you learn to trust it when it comes to making decisions, big and small? 

We are sharing the podcast, fully of Rudy’s wisdom, with you below! 

- Lauren

Almost two weeks ago now, we released a podcast with our friend Dr. Mo Pickens on 5 practices for leadership during a time of crisis. Today we’re releasing a podcast he made with Brynne for Coburn Ventures on taking “real” breaks - in other words, checking your email does not always count as a break! I think many of us have the tendency to think that taking a break is inherently unproductive or a sign of weakness…but Mo questions this assumption. Thank you, Mo - these are such good reminders during a time where I am sure we have all at some point felt like we are living in some version of Groundhog Day :) The podcast link is down below!

- Lauren

Dr. Morris Pickens is a member of the Community for Change and also is a “wildcard” for some of our Coburn Ventures work. He wrote this piece highlighting 5 practices for leadership during a time of crisis, like the moment we currently find ourselves in, that we shared with our Coburn Ventures audience. We also wanted to share it with all of you. Mo’s piece is attached as a PDF, and there is also a link below for a podcast interview he did with Brynne on this same topic.

Thank you, Mo, for your endless wisdom and giving us guidance during this difficult time.

- Lauren

We live in a world that measures the value of person or a company by asking ‘how much money can you generate for me?’ The default is to measure with a financial meter stick. While I think we are starting to see pushback against this in the corporate sector with ESG investing and the NGO sector with holistic measurement tools like the Human Development Index, Candice’s writing is an important reminder that too often what we think is an end with itself (e.g. income) is really just the means to an end (e.g. dignity and connection). And this is such an important reminder when thinking about the future of our world.

Originally from the Starfire Blog: https://www.starfirecincy.org/cincibility/2019/9/13/primary-and-secondary-purpose

- Lauren

I’ve recently spent some time in India exploring what change looks like for the nonprofit sector. Before going, I spent some time thinking about what beliefs I held about India as a country, the definition of community and if it is universal, and other things. I tried to loosen my grip on those beliefs and have my assumptions challenged…and they most certainly were. I think my trip would have looked really different if I didn’t intentionally loosen that grip beforehand. As Tim writes, we really can’t afford to have strong-held beliefs when it comes to other people – these separate us from one another and prevent connection. To put aside assumptions to see someone as fully human.

Originally from the Starfire Blog: https://www.starfirecincy.org/cincibility/moving-boulders

- Lauren

This past week I think I might have learned the key to the success of my marriage, and to any relationship for that matter. And I’m not overstating that. Maybe for those of you who have been married for a long time, what I’m about to say might occur as somewhat obvious to you, but I’ve been married for about a year. So let’s just say, for me, this was nothing short of a huge revelation. I also felt that by acknowledging this lesson in a blog, I would be more likely to hold myself accountable to utilizing this lesson in the future.

Though I love the idea of being a minimalist, I always have trouble throwing out things when I sort through old stuff found in my closet, or on my shelves, or in my garage. This is probably because, although I don't think material things can bring significant long-term joy, I also tie things right back to the memories and wonderful times using them. My sister Christina's metaphoric writing reminds me of the many emotions connected to objects from our childhood that our dad brought into our life during simpler times, and left us with to smile back on after he passed. Just like my sister, I was also working in my dad's shed the other day, but I think Christina was able to put these surging feelings into words in a truly beautiful way.

- Amanda

About 15 years ago, Kelly came home from a weekend yoga retreat for teachers with a new phrase offered by the instructor: try easy

Almost instantly it registered. I have some back story about the nobleness of trying hard. It could be blamed on Midwest work ethic or who knows. And to be clear, I am a huge fan of grit. But there have been many, many times where 'try hard' generates far far far worse results for me than try easy. From my dear friend Lisa below...

Pip

I am very excited to share a piece from yet another sister of mine (I have three) ... turns out we all have a passion for writing. Originally, Christina's writing below was simply shared through a caption on her Instagram. But I thought it was so moving, as did many other responders, so I figured I should share with you all too :)

Last week, we had to put our beloved 16-year old family dog to sleep. I hadn't cried the way I did that night (and the next two days) in years.. perhaps because I think that a relationship with a pet is different than the bond formed with humans - it's a silent bond, but also so communicative in its own unique way. And it sure is incredibly difficult to let go of in the physical sense. I think Christina's piece did a wonderful job of encapsulating that idea. She also wanted her piece to shed light on the fact that everyone experiences and handles loss in their own way. Thank you for the heartwarming words, Christina.

- Amanda