#311: What If I Slowed?

It's easy to feel obsessed with convenience and quickness. Doing things faster. More efficient. There's a desire for the quick high of the left lane. We grow the “most food for the most people”. And I know I can buy anything from anywhere and have it tomorrow. But what if going slow was sexy?

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#310: What Have You Learned?

I’ve been off of work, and with my kids this whole summer. It’s been a blur filled with equal parts daddy school, activities and chilling out. Last week, while breaking down our days before getting to sleep, my wife asked me a really good question that I haven’t been asked in a long time. “You’ve been with the kids for 2 months now… what have you learned so far?”

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#309: What's Dippy Dip?

I've written many blogs and journal entries about my dad. A lot of these have been a form of grieving, or perhaps an effort to keep his energy alive, or simply to serve as memoirs of who he was.

It struck me one night that losing my dad has given me reasons to write about him - reasons I don’t have for my mom, because she is still here. And in that same thought I felt compelled by different reasons to write about my mom - a person who has very much influenced my life and the person I’ve become. To take time to reflect, to express gratitude, and to serve as an acknowledgement of who she is while I have the opportunity to do so.

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#308: A Different Walk Every Day

My 2-year-old dog, Birdie, needs to walk at least five miles a day to be calm, relaxed and happy.

My wife and I have concluded that the best way to make this work is with lots of walking first thing in the morning. I’ve been taking her 3 miles right when I wake up, and my wife takes her another mile or so when she walks our youngest daughter to school.

I’ve chosen to walk the same route nearly every day. This makes the timing predictable, and it also helps for training purposes (especially if I let her off leash).

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#307: Rooting for Others

My boyfriend Oscar and I joined a soccer team a year ago with a group of about 25 other guys, and now we play pick-up every Sunday morning. Over time, I became close with a few players on the team. I was grateful for these new friendships. Not only did we share many talks and laughs throughout the games, but sharing conversation over cold beers at the local brewery in town post-game became part of our Sunday routine.

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#306: Work and Identity

I was recently let go from my job. It brought up a lot of things for me. The usual, concerns about finances and healthcare, and also a few things out of the ordinary. I wouldn’t have thought losing a job would mean losing part of my identity, but it certainly feels that way.

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#305: Ending Hurting Humor

Dry Humor:

“…deliberate display of emotional neutrality or no emotion, commonly as a form of comedic delivery to contrast with the ridiculousness or absurdity of the subject matter. The delivery is meant to be blunt, ironic, laconic, or apparently unintentional…”… WIkipedia

In a moment I will focus on dry humor specifically. But this note is really about hurting humor.

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#304: A Little Bit Every Day

More often than not, I realize I'm comfortable with “a lot,” and I'm comfortable with “nothing.”

It’s easy to make a big push for something when I'm feeling inspired: a New Year’s resolution; after reading a great article on the benefits (or drawbacks) of coffee; while on vacation.

Often, that big push either overshoots (I overdo it and get tired), or inspiration wanes.

Which is why “a little bit every day” is tougher, and more valuable, than it appears.

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#302: I Don't Need to Be Happy

I've learned that the pursuit of happiness actually leads to unhappiness.

Why? Because it's an unrealistic expectation. Happiness is a fleeting emotion. And therefore it's actually impossible to live in a state of perpetual happiness. Yet sometimes it feels there is pressure to. But I know I can't constantly be smiling, laughing, or always thinking positive thoughts.

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#301: Spring-Themed Anti Pet Peeves

As many probably already know, I Iove to reach out to a few community members at the start of every season and ask if they would like to contribute an anti pet peeve about it - something small that brings them joy during that particular time of year. So the spring responses are compiled below, and they are all wonderfully different. I also discovered that Reed loves the anti pet peeve ask so much that he was compelled to write an entire little list, as you'll also see at the bottom!

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#300: Milestones

Today is a landmark for the CFC Writing Circle which started about five years ago.

I would like to express that with each passing year, I've felt it become a more prominent part of my life - It has truly brought me so much joy and inspiration reading others' writing pieces throughout the years. And it has also given me this creative platform to share my own words in an intimate and safe space where I can also commit to deeper reflection on the events that take place in my life, both big and small.

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#299: Time

He could have just said I’d be away. But he didn’t and I guess this is why it stuck with me:

I was sitting at a picnic table at Soul, the local brewery we go to sometimes after pickup soccer on Sundays. A group of eight or so of us lingered around the table, salty elbows and hands between cold glasses of beer, kissed-warm by the sun. We were discussing the idea of a team barbecue, and as I mentally ran through my calendar to check dates that were being tossed around, one of the guys said:

“We can’t that weekend, Christina will be in Utah.”

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#298: Sri Lanka

I was fortunate to spend the month of March in the beautiful island country of Sri Lanka. As I finished up packing and closed out work for the week, I kept hearing similar things from those I shared my travel plans with.

“Always carry either a pocket knife or mace.” "Pack a flashlight and shine it in their eyes if someone tries to approach you.” “Make sure your money is always stored in different areas.”

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#297: Being a Boring Dad

At bedtime the other night, my son Teddy told me, “Dad, I love you… even though you’re boring.”

I kissed him on the forehead, and couldn’t disagree. I kept thinking about how I can find a better balance between being the coach and the referee; in my relationships with my kids, and in my life. And then it leapt out at me, all of a sudden. A position I’d totally missed thinking about. I’d forgotten how to be the player.

When did I stop playing pretend?

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#295: When Easy Tries You

I had a great anti-pet peeve happen today! It was Monday (never a good start in my opinion) and it promised to be a long day with an aggressively overpacked schedule. It was sure to end in missed meetings or a missed flight or at the very least — total, frazzled exhaustion. As I looked at my calendar before bed last night, I chastised myself a bit — “What happened to saying 'no' Lisa?! It’s not possible to do all that in a day!”

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#294: The Invisible Fence

We have an invisible fence set up around our yard for our dog. To mark it, we’ve put up little white flags and taught her not to cross them. Since we live on a busy street, it’s doubly important that my dog understands and respects these boundaries.

Of course, she needs to get out of the yard a few times a day for her walks. Any time I walk her, the first thing I do is take off her Invisible Fence collar. This means she could easily cross the line without our help.

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#293: Puttering and Practice

It’s been hard to write recently. I think it may be as simple as having gotten into a routine and omitting dedicated time to write. Getting to this point — fingers on the keys, mind directed to one singular focus and thread of thought — involved quite an elaborate dance: getting fully dressed, finding my keyboard, ignoring the half-done household chore I abandoned last night for sleep, and turning on the kettle for coffee. I bet it’ll be ready halfway through one of these upcoming sentences. But wait — come back, mind! — I’m now HERE to write. It’s happening. And it almost feels like I’ve been in this moment for hours and couldn’t be asked to do anything else, ever again. I’ve gone from doing a puttering polka into an aimed adagio.

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#292: Presence Over Gifts

The last time I spoke with my dad he was leaving for a trip to Nevada. Two days later, while driving on a winding road back from the Hoover Dam, he crashed his motorcycle and was gone.

Clara, the main character in a book I'm reading, experienced the unexpected death of a parent too. She revealed that as close as she was with her father, she had forgotten many memories of him and what it felt like to be in his presence. So later on in the book, when her boyfriend tells her that his grandfather is battling cancer and has only a few months to live, she recommends he start writing down the things he loves about him, the sayings he had, the things he’d do, and anything he'd want to remember and cherish forever. She wished she had done so before her loss.

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