The Spirit of the Community for Change

Rabbi Irwin Kula & Lauren Culbertson

March 25, 2020

Below is the product of many conversations with people in the Community for Change over the last number of months — especially our dear friend Rabbi Irwin Kula — where we asked, “how would you describe the Community for Change?” We wanted to put the spirit of our community into words, something we had never really done before. This feels particularly timely given our current cultural moment, a time, it feels to me, where it is important for our own health to lean into the relationships around us, albeit perhaps more virtually than ever before. I personally am so grateful right now to have this community where people are open to just being in one another’s presence and being emotionally vulnerable, with no pretenses or expected transactions - I’m grateful for all of you.

- Lauren

 WHAT IS THE COMMUNITY FOR CHANGE? 

The Community for Change is a space in which a seemingly eclectic group of humans might experience deep commonality, free from what tends to separate. Initially, this community was described as “making a difference to the difference makers,” but we have quickly and collectively understood that making contributions to one another is a mutual, simultaneous experience. By coming from a place of giving, we seem to automatically and unavoidably receive. Today, we gather to grow in each other’s wisdom, compassion, and capacity for good in the world, especially in a period of an unprecedented pace of change. Civility, trust, deep listening, passion, joy, humor, and dignity are just some of the fundamental elements we collectively nourish. 

“The meaning of life is not what happens to people but what happens between people.” -  Thich Nhat Hahn

 DESIGN PRINCIPLES: CFC CULTURE

What are cornerstones upon which the Community for Change is built upon?

“Social change moves at the speed of relationships. Relationships move at the speed of trust.” - The People's Supper

 PASSION-MATCHING,  NON-OBLIGATION, AND JOY

We say “yes” when our passion aligns well with others’ requests and invitations and when we truly want to participate or give in some way. But we feel zero obligation  to say “yes” if there is not a match; we feel free to say “no.”  We believe that far too often the possibility of immense joy is vaporized when many forms of obligation are invisibly and sometimes not so invisibly present and accepted as socially accepted norms.  We aim to have a sense of joy, or eudaimonia, run through every interaction, regardless of the “yes” or “no.”  

STUDENT-MINDEDNESS AND DEEP LISTENING

Student-mindedness is the opposite of closed-mindedness: being completely unattached to any specific thoughts and being open to fully considering the utility of new thoughts (without becoming attached to those either). We come to in-person or virtual gatherings with a posture of learning and set aside any identity of being an “expert” the world has assigned to us. We listen to others deeply and actively. 

FULL INTEGRATION OF SELF 

We believe deep trust is transitive, scalable, and can be instantaneously established.  Our experience of these three traits is, sadly, fully countercultural. When present, deep trust leads to the richest social fabric from which change is possible. “Trust” is the root of our culture (something quite antithetical to the hyper-competitive and transactional industries many of us are used to). In order to establish this sense of trust, we bring our whole selves to gatherings so there is a sense of vulnerability and openness, as well as alignment of head, heart, mind, and spirit. 

CONUNDRUMS WE HOLD IN TENSION 

Many of the core principles above are paradoxical in nature – and we dance on the edge of these paradoxes when we gather together. Holding seemingly opposite things at the same time enables us to have a holistic sense of our work, ourselves, and others. 

“The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.” - F. Scott Fitzgerald

 Spontaneity // Direction 

Those who host virtual and in-person gatherings do a significant amount of pre-work ahead of time to ensure a high-quality experience. But we also instill a sense of playfulness and surprise into gatherings and will change a previously set agenda if things seem to be flowing in a different direction. We feel comfortable bringing half-baked ideas to the table without fear of judgement. We like to see things from a different perspective, like spontaneously crowdsourcing anti-pet peeves from our community.

Safety // Being on the edge 

Gatherings are designed so it is near impossible to blend into the background. Small group discussions with a variety of people create a sense of safety and trust to share something half-baked. But people are also kept at the edge of their seats. At the end of a gathering, a facilitator will call out individuals when the larger group is together to share a question or highlight something that stuck out during their discussions. We like to end gatherings at times such as 11:47 am to encourage people to ask, “what next?”  

Hierarchy // Egalitarianism 

While we leave behind any identity of expert, we also acknowledge that some of us will have more knowledge or wisdom on a certain topic than others, and we freely offer this knowledge and wisdom to contribute to the richness of our community. We intentionally create space for outliers or “wildcards” to offer uncorrelated yet related thoughts on a certain topic. This healthfully destabilizes a sense of expertise but is done in a spirit that does not dismiss or flatten people’s knowledge and experience. We encourage community members to write bios in the first-person since they know themselves better than anyone else. We share bios widely before gatherings and encourage people to read ahead of time and become familiarized. This helps instill a sense of belonging even before we gather in person or on a video call. 

Obligation // Freedom 

While non-obligation is a core principle to the CFC, we also hope people experience genuine gratitude which naturally translates into a desire to serve – but one that comes from a place of abundance. Though we know we never have to participate in the CFC and are never judged for not participating, when our wants, needs, choices, and relationships all align, we do feel an organic joyfulness that makes us want to participate. Acting on this embodies our sense of belonging – it is specifically when we are most authentically responsive to this that we tend to feel the most free.

 Me // We 

We see each other as individuals with unique personal and professional backgrounds. But we also see the CFC as a whole and use “we” language (as you can see from this piece). We are all equal stakeholders in the community and feel a sense of ownership, agency, and belonging to the entire body.