CFC Blog #21: The Subtle Art of Becoming Ordinary

I think theres a great deal of stress exerted on being different, unique, even strange...there's a value placed on getting exceptional grades, traveling to extravagant places, building extraordinary personal qualities... So I love what Brinton has brought to light here. I think that perhaps embracing ordinariness can open a door to unexpected comfort and peace, and create  more spaces of understanding, compassion, and acceptance. This piece left me with a little (changed) quote in my head: "Don't be afraid to be.. totally normal!!!" 

- Amanda

The Subtle Art of Becoming Ordinary

You are a Badass! 

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

Different

Be Obsessed or Be Average

Originals

As I peruse the nonfiction bestseller wall at the bookstore in the airport, these are the titles that jump out at me.  They probably say great things.  The titles make me want to pick the books up.  They even make me feel a little special.  My chest puffs out a bit.  “That’s right, I am a badass, different and completely special. Thank you for noticing.” I think to myself.  (My wife says you can learn a lot about me from that last sentence!)

Then I wonder.  What about ordinary?  Why does our society seem so terrified of being ordinary?  Why am I so terrified of being ordinary?  What if I’m not a badass?  What if I really do give a F*ck?  What if I’m not all that different?  Is there anything inherently wrong with ordinary?  Can uniqueness and ordinariness coexist? 

Father Richard Rohr has this to offer, “God is manifest in the ordinary, in the actual, in the daily, in the now, in the concrete incarnations of life.”

I’m thinking of writing my own book: The Subtle Art of Becoming Ordinary.  I doubt you’ll ever see it on the bestseller wall.  It’s not that the title is not edgy enough — my guess is that it’s too edgy.  Coming to terms with our “ordinariness” can be downright uncomfortable — it demands we give up our superiority complex AND our inferiority complex in one fell swoop.  We have to throw out the yardstick of relative accomplishment and just be comfortable in our own skin, for who we are; without the trappings of “specialness” we love to surround ourselves with (social media, material goods, milestone accomplishments, whatever . . . ).  

I’m reminded of Lauren’s unexpected relief during the days after she misplaced her cell phone and the mixed emotions she felt when she got it back.  Those few days spent in the “actual, in the daily, in the now” provided some sort of unexpected comfort. From this understanding, perhaps becoming ordinary means to let go of image, self preservation or status even as we turn our focus outward.  

I wonder if Mother Theresa ever set out to be a badass? 

Perhaps embracing our ordinariness means to love ourselves (and to allow others to love us) unconditionally?  For me, I suspect that becoming ordinary will be the work of a lifetime.