Two years ago, after attending a talk by Bryan Stevenson, the Founder of Equal Justice Initiative, (EJI), I raised my hand to become a penpal to one of their clients, a prisoner who had been tried and incarcerated as a youth. Part of EJI’s mission is to defend clients they believe were punished too harshly when they were sentenced as children under laws designed for adults.

About three weeks later I received my assignment to write with someone I’ll refer to as DL. DL is living a life sentence in a prison in South Dakota. He’s been there for 18 years, more than half of his life.

With his full name, I did a strange but probably predictable thing: I searched online for his case and read the whole public file on what happened, what he did, who was involved, and what his sentence is.

We’re not allowed to correspond about the case, so all of this was purely for my information. I had a feeling of needing to know. Out of security. Out of making sure I wasn’t in over my head.

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It was with surprise that I learned we would release a podcast on Thanksgiving Day on gratitude.  As I listened for the first time, it brought me a sense of lightness hearing Brynne convey, “gratitude moves stagnant energy when we’re feeling stuck in life.  The simple act of practicing gratitude disrupts negative thoughts and changes our mindset to see the world in a positive way”.   It was the same reminder when my daughters Alyssa and Brooke were leading a blessing of grace at our Thanksgiving table that provided me with a greater sense of awareness, appreciation, and joy.

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I was lucky enough to escape to my favorite place in New England for a few weeks in March. I didn’t take time off from work, but I still treated it as a bit of a retreat. After a bit of a crazy winter in the city, I took time to do the things that fill my cup - like trail running, biking, and taking long long walks on the beach with my family and our dog - I also intentionally carved out some time to think about my future. 

I’ve never been someone who could “picture” the future, like I feel like some people can. The pixels of what your life is like a year, 5 years, 10 years, 50 years down the road. My brain tends to work in concepts and feelings, not minute details and thinking many steps ahead. I hadn’t done an exercise like this since I graduated from college years ago now - I barely recognize the person I was then. It was time to revisit this exercise. 

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When I sat down to write, I kept thinking about how visceral this season has felt. How urgent, how moving.. There was arresting beauty, and deep foreboding, and it struck me that those combined experiences ARE autumn itself, so maybe the idea is to seep into it and experience what nature is showing me.

In addition, this wasn’t a usual autumn, as I observed it. The wild animals surrounding our house were acting 100% wacky. When the neighbors sign went up I thought, hmmm, we are all experiencing this season together, and it feels different, together. I took my lead from these oddly behaving animals and started to observe more. This is what came out.

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I’ve been wearing some form of movement tracker, and then smart watch, for the past five years. I’ll admit, at first it was fun to “get my steps in.” Now I think I probably use the timer more often than anything else. (My morning French Press — Hey Siri, 4 minute timer...) I still aim to close my rings every day, but it’s more the fear of failure rather than fun to finish. But if these metrics don’t spark joy, and make me WANT to achieve them, which ones would? What are my own methods for knowing I’m content, happy, and fulfilled? If I could change what 3 things my watch was measuring, I think I might use: movement, sleep, and laughter.

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Of all of the issues that must come up when serving women from all over the world who have been trafficked, survived sexual violence, and ended up finding respite at an organization called Restore NYC in the New York City area, surely fighting over food in the refrigerator was the least of the counselors’ problems. Hoping to move past this distraction and pay attention to the real work of recovery that the women needed, they got to work at resolving the issue. They intended to make sure everyone was heard. They would work to understand the root issue. Then, they would make the necessary changes, and move on.

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Two years ago, after attending a talk by Bryan Stevenson, the Founder of Equal Justice Initiative,

(EJI), I raised my hand to become a penpal to one of their clients, a prisoner who had been tried and incarcerated as a youth. Part of EJI’s mission is to defend clients they believe were punished too harshly when they were sentenced as children under laws designed for adults.

 

About three weeks later I received my assignment to write with someone I’ll refer to as DL. DL is living a life sentence in a prison in South Dakota. He’s been there for 18 years, more than half of his

life.

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Almost six years ago, Pip and I sat in a building in lower Manhattan right after Hurricane Sandy.

 

We were there in our deserted office to host a meeting with two leaders from an ambitious three year old non-profit taking on a very dark problem.

 

I had reached out them because I was an analyst at an investment firm that studies change for a living, and one way we do our work is to study all types of change so we learn to identify patterns.  

 

When Jimmy Lee and Dave Hung, Restore’s executive director and Board chairman, walked in we found thought partners who were hungry for serving this mission with excellence and strategic power. 

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In the movie The Matrix, there’s a famous scene where Neo meets The Oracle. As he walks into her apartment, he sees a young boy bending a spoon with his mind. He’s fascinated. As he bends down and takes the spoon, the boy offers some advice:

“Do not try and bend the spoon. That’s impossible. Instead only try to realize the truth.”

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On the Community for Change "zoom" calls over the past year, we've brought medium-sized groups together over video to discuss huge topics in a small amount of time. We figured if we shoved "racism" or "post-election divisiveness" into a room for 40 minutes and shut the door with all of us staring at each other over video from all corners of the world, we might actually get some real conversation out of it. No more beating around the bush. We're all here. We all respect one another.  So let's talk.

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“Each of us is more than the worst thing we’ve ever done.”

-Bryan Stevenson, Founder of Equal Justice Initiative

Two years ago, after attending a talk by Bryan Stevenson, the Founder of Equal Justice Initiative,

(EJI), I raised my hand to become a penpal to one of their clients, a prisoner who had been tried and incarcerated as a youth.

Read More