#12: My Penpal
This beautiful piece from Brynne brings to light that above anything else, beyond any and all our mistakes, challenges, and restrictions, we are human beings…with souls hungry for acknowledgement, care, and love. Perhaps we don't need to look to solve everyone else’s problems. Perhaps instead we can put forth our efforts to providing companionship, looking deeper into true character and simply being there.
- Amanda
“Each of us is more than the worst thing we’ve ever done.”
-Bryan Stevenson, Founder of Equal Justice Initiative
Two years ago, after attending a talk by Bryan Stevenson, the Founder of Equal Justice Initiative,
(EJI), I raised my hand to become a penpal to one of their clients, a prisoner who had been tried and incarcerated as a youth. Part of EJI’s mission is to defend clients they believe were punished too harshly when they were sentenced as children under laws designed for adults.
About three weeks later I received my assignment to write with someone I’ll refer to as DL. DL is living a life sentence in a prison in South Dakota. He’s been there for 18 years, more than half of his
life.
With his full name, I did a strange but probably predictable thing: I searched online for his case and read the whole public file on what happened, what he did, who was involved, and what his sentence is.
We’re not allowed to correspond about the case, so all of this was purely for my information. I had a feeling of needing to know. Out of security. Out of making sure I wasn’t in over my head.
DL is creative, sad, spiritual and lots of other things that I’ll never know about. We write at the surface level mostof the time. We share about our favorite music. He gives me tips on what might help my children in their piano studies. He sent me some of his artwork and was proud that Bryan Stevenson said they would hang his art in their offices in Alabama. He leads the tours for the public to the prison’s Brail workshop. He got a raise there to $0.40 an hour. He was promoted to a lower security prison due to good behavior. He went into solitary there and came back out with the old address. 8 or 10 weeks passed over this summer when it slipped my mind to write. Same for him in other stretches and seasons. More letters started back and forth every month or so - no harm, no foul.
Most recently, he responded to the news that the US Supreme Court refused to look at his case after 18 years of fighting it with “This is pretty much all I know...well, moving on to more pleasant things…”
I don’t know what having a penpal has meant to DL. Occasionally, he talks about the window in his cell. I wonder if having a penpal is like having another window into a broader world for him. I’m guessing, and maybe projecting, when I write that, but I hope it’s like that...a link to someone outside his family, outside his legal team, outside the prison, who lives somewhere he has never been and will never go.
I do know what it has meant to me. I started the process by examining public records. I did some necessary self-preservation calculations. I wondered about whether correspondence with a criminal in South Dakota might ever endanger my family somehow? In some ways this is an odd thought given he has a life sentence, but this was new territory to me.
But four or five letters in or so, I stopped adding in all those layers of “what if?”. In the first few letters, I signed off with “Sincerely, Brynne” or “Talk soon, Brynne”. Soon enough, I wrote, “Your friend, Brynne”.
The next letter ended with “Your friend, “DL”.
That’s how we’ve signed off ever since.
Happy Holidays..
A few post-scripts:
* Anyone who wants a copy of Bryan Stevenson’s book Just Mercy, please write me at
brynne@respireenterprises.com. If you promise me you’ll read it and pass it on to one more person,
I’m happy to send you the book.
** You can see Bryan Stevenson’s TED Talk here.
*** Anyone with a Community for Change notebook in your hands, flip it over and you’ll have the full quote from Bryan Stevenson with you always.
Brynne Thompson: brynne@respireenterprises.com.
After ten years working as an analyst at Coburn Ventures, I co-created the Coburn Ventures Community for Change with Pip. The Community for Change aims to deepen the vitality of the existing community of professionals, learners and creatives who come together by virtue of Coburn Ventures activities and services by offering opportunities to lend insights and energy to organizations and leaders changing the world.
Now that we are a few years in, we know more clearly that the Community for Change is about making a difference to difference-makers. I'm happy to be able to spend my days in service to great leaders while playing with ideas of my own. In addition to my work with the Community for Change, I consult with a number of organizations and social enterprises in efforts to enhance their strategic and development efforts.
Mission Statement: To lead from a spirit of service. To inspire a community of trust that comes together to turbo-charge each other's initiatives to change the world.