#65: Writing It Out
I really had no no no idea how much I would benefit in working with Brynne Thompson when we started working together in 2006.
Way underestimated it.
I DID have a bit of a clue after the two of us had coffee at a Starbucks in Times Square in 2004 as she was thinking of making some change from finance such that – here is my interpretation — she could put her giant heart (that is many sizes bigger than even her big wisdom-filled brain) to work more fully. Rarely did Wall Street associates want to have coffee with me to discuss how to escape Wall Street but far more often it was about wanting to talk about a future path that would get them more embroiled. Dave B connected us thinking maybe I might be helpful to this non-finance finance person Brynne! On reflection, i think I can see it was all a set up!! I have learned waaay more from Brynne since that Starbucks day than vice versa. Before long I am sure Brynne will fess up to the Starbucks set up she and Dave B concocted!
The note below from Brynne pushes through our normal word limit for the blogs… but geesh I think you will want to read every word. There si so much here and Brynne pulls it altogether. You may likely re-read it AND read the stories from Liesl. So so powerful.
…Pip
Brynne Thompson brynne@respireenterprises.com
On the Community for Change "zoom" calls over the past year, we've brought medium-sized groups together over video to discuss huge topics in a small amount of time. We figured if we shoved "racism" or "post-election divisiveness" into a room for 40 minutes and shut the door with all of us staring at each other over video from all corners of the world, we might actually get some real conversation out of it. No more beating around the bush. We're all here. We all respect one another. So let's talk.
There's another way of talking which I've always admired. Writing. About six months ago, a friend of mine from The Pat Tillman Foundation suggested I meet the team at The War Horse. This group of three broke one of the biggest stories on military conduct in the past decade: Marines United. This discovery led to testimony that changed policy and brought forward new victims and advocates. The War Horse continues its investigative reporting on the issue and the follow up its incited.
They've also taken that momentum and insisted that not only is covering the vertical of the armed forces and the Department of Defense and Veterans Affairs with proper journalistic resources a core nutrient to a healthy civil society and accountable armed forces, but also that writing is a therapy incredibly well-suited to active soldiers, veterans and their spouses, particularly those from post-9/11 conflicts. In an era where powerful pockets of our society in the US such as Congress and business no longer have as many veterans in their service, the voice of the soldier and the veteran may become diminished and disempowered. The War Horse is rejuvenating that sense of the soldier's voice in our country through its reflections and writing seminars.
So I wasn't surprised when I got to meet Jon Krakaur recently that when The War Horse came up in our conversation he said "Did you see the story about gridlock?". I hadn't read it yet, and pulled it up on the way home. I've included it below because I love the story and Liesel's perspective. It's a striking piece.
But what caught my attention and stayed with me for weeks was the story underneath it: "She stayed quiet..". This one is incredible. It's a simple exercise with a complicated issue underlying it, just like our zoom calls. In this series of articles, Liesel, a military spouse, writes about meeting Joy, an officer. Then Joy writes back, asynchronously. It's not what you think. What they are doing is incredible.
It strikes me that we put so much pressure on ourselves to have difficult conversations in the town square, but we're not very prepared to do so. We encourage each other to be vulnerable and to break down barriers, but for most of us, that's not so easy, and wistful inaction becomes comfortable enough.
As I was reading these two articles, however, I felt strongly that I could see both sides to the story. I could see the human being and heart in each woman. I could see how they may not ever be friends, but that's not the point at all. They opened up, they wrote their truth from their perspective, they didn't have to go on video or "like" some affinity group or wear it publicly. They wrote to each other.
We have this tool, writing. Correspondence. Simple letter writing. Back and forth. One to the other. We can remain apart physically, but we can know each other, if even from a distance. We can hear and absorb in the stories of "the other". We can take it in. We can go forward with added perspective. We can use it to inform our collective voice.
For both women, hearing the others perspective and awareness resulted in a few degrees of change in their actions, maybe. That's it. A few degrees. They didn't upend their whole lives and dedicate themselves to each others causes. They didn't change from Republican to Democrat or spouse to officer. But it seemed that they gained a new viewpoint. There's a Czech saying, "when you learn a new language, you gain a new soul", and I think the same might be true of letting oneself absorb another persons life experience as best we can. So let's not belittle the few degrees of perspective their writing represents, for themselves or for every single person who reads this exchange. How major might those degrees be when projected out years and generations?
I wonder if we're pushing ourselves to leapfrog into perfectly assimilated, hand-holding circles of love and happiness and rainbows, when really, all we need to do is write it out - write to one another. Be honest, and let it go.
...brynne
Brynne's first-person bio:
After ten years working as an analyst at Coburn Ventures, I co-created the Coburn Ventures Community for Change with Pip. The Community for Change aims to deepen the vitality of the existing community of professionals, learners and creatives who come together by virtue of Coburn Ventures activities and services by offering opportunities to lend insights and energy to organizations and leaders changing the world.
Now that we are a few years in, we know more clearly that the Community for Change is about making a difference to difference-makers. I'm happy to be able to spend my days in service to great leaders while playing with ideas of my own. In addition to my work with the Community for Change, I consult with a number of organizations and social enterprises in efforts to enhance their strategic and development efforts.
Mission Statement: To lead from a spirit of service. To inspire a community of trust that comes together to turbo-charge each other's initiatives to change the world.
Anna, Thomas and Lindsey from The War Horse were happy to have us send this post around under The Community for Change Writing Circle. I hope you will enjoy.
If you know military spouses who might benefit from their writing programs, or others who may want to tell their stories, just ping me back. If you want to follow their investigative reporting, the best way to do that at the moment is to sign up here. The War Horse is now supported by a number of remarkable foundations and individuals helping non-profit newsrooms rise to the occasion of investigative journalism after major declines in the sizes of for-profit newsrooms across the globe. They continue to fight above their weight and could use us in their corner.