#91: The Sweet Spot

Lauren, your blog reminded me of something that was brought up in the CFC zoom session this week... that perhaps it is possible to experience multiple states at once. In other words, I can be stressed and nervous while working to make a serious life change for myself, while also experiencing joy and excitement for the new possibilities to come. I love that your blog sheds light upon finding the "sweet spot" in all of life's craziness... or should I say spookiness  (Happy Halloween all!)   ;) 

-Amanda

Lauren Culbertson    laurenbrooksculbertson@gmail.com 

The Sweet Spot

When I was a teenager, my favorite movie was Into the Wild - the true story of Chris McCandless who cuts all ties from society, changes his name, and hitchhikes to Alaska. Fed up with what he saw as a world that couldn't change, made only of people who disappoint, he slips away without telling his friends or family where he has gone.

For some reason, my 16-year-old brain glorified Chris as a rebel who actually changed his life when he was unhappy while most unhappy people stay put inside the comforts and security of social norms. But I watched the film again not too long ago and by the end all I could think about was how selfish he was to leave his family worried sick and how much of a coward he was to not want to face the dark parts of the world after just having graduated from an elite university.

I had an argument with a close friend/ one of the most intelligent and self-disciplined people I know the other night. I bluntly told him that he had too much potential to be living at home with family in rural New York and working a job he is way overqualified for. He said he is more concerned with improving his own life through means outside his paid work than changing the people around him and felt like he could do that where he was now. He said maybe this makes him a bad person. I said I didn't believe that was true. Our brains are just wired to think differently about the world.

I'd like to think the two don't have to be mutually exclusive - following your own happiness while also pressing into the dark realities that affect others just as much as they affect you. That wanting to improve yourself and discover what happiness means to you does not make you selfish - even if you learn that your main source of happiness comes from being alone. That perhaps there is a sweet spot in between where even through our own pursuit of happiness we indirectly help others find theirs…or by helping others find theirs, we find our own.

Lauren's first-person bio: 

Someone once told me that I "move" when I see the “earth out of alignment,” which is just a fancy way of saying that I’ve always had a natural inclination to pay attention to what happens in the margins; that’s where the most exciting things happen, after all. That brought me to Restore NYC, an anti- sex trafficking nonprofit, where I work to inspire generosity and help our fundraising team make data-driven decisions. I experience the most joy in my work when I witness two things clicking inside someone: sex trafficking is a major issue that is closer than we think, but it has a solution that we can all be a part of.