#345: Life is (Pretty) Good

Sadly, I am not the sister accredited to the quote Amanda cites in this blog. But I do believe I should receive honorable mention for keeping that quote alive. Nonetheless, I love each of the stories Amanda shares in this blog that so accurately embody what one sister or other other said years ago. I am left thinking of all the tiny compartments that make up this bigger, good life...

- Christina

Life is (Pretty) Good

Six years ago, thanks to Pip and Brynne, I attended an event in NYC hosted by Plus Wonder Conversation. Plus Wonder is a non profit organization that facilitates workshops to provide tools and insights on how to build partnerships in people's lives both personally and professionally. To kick off the day, John and Bert Jacobs, the co-founders of the company Life Is Good, shared about their (at times) rocky relationship with one another over time and the story of how they started the company together. I learned that the entire philosophy behind the business model of this popular brand was largely inspired by John and Bert's mother, who served as a huge source of optimism in their life. 

They spoke about how, as the two youngest of six siblings, there were many fights that took place in their small home. But regardless of how much fighting there was on a daily basis, their mother had one firm request at dinner each night: sit down at the table together and share about one good thing that happened. They go on to say that as they took on the challenge of growing a company together, arguing between the two of them increased even more. But because of that dinner table ritual they realized they could agree on at least one thing: "Optimism can empower us in even the hardest of times" (Jacobs, Bert & John, Life Is Good - Your Practical Guide to the Power of Optimism, 2015). 

I was moved by all they shared in regards to the dynamic of their upbringing, the ups and downs of building a business, and the simple message behind it all: "Life isn't easy. Life isn't perfect. Life is Good." They emphasized this saying which ties back to their roots by explaining how, among the inevitable chaos of life, it is valuable to shift attention to the positive, even if it's just one small thing. 

I thought more deeply about this practice one day last week after a morning full of mishaps. Feeling tired and disorganized, I grabbed the keys and headed out for a doctor's appointment. I was driving for a few minutes when I braked at a crosswalk to allow a pedestrian to cross. While doing so, the car behind me began angrily honking. I turned my head back to see an irritated driver throwing her hands up at me. Perhaps she did not realize I stopped to let someone cross, but whatever the issue was, as I continued down the road, the annoyance I now felt in response to this began to expand inside of me. The energy felt contagious. The more I thought about her impatience and intense reaction, the more of an internal reaction I now TOO started having. In fact, I let it bother me for the remainder of the drive. 

Is everyone always in a rush these days? Am I just having a bad morning myself and now I'm blaming the driver behind me for it? Worst of all, why am I letting myself get so triggered by something so trivial? Can I not just let things go? These were the questions bouncing around my head and consuming my attention as I pulled into the parking lot. I discovered there were no spaces left, and eventually resorted to finding a spot further down on the main road. After a very poor parallel-park job, I stepped out to feed the meter, still quite roped up in badgering thoughts as I forcefully pushed the coins in one by one. 

It wasn't until the man at the meter next to me said something that I was able to finally snap out of it. He asked if I could spare him two or three quarters. I looked back in my wallet and happened to have exactly three left. I glanced up to hand them over and saw him holding out a dollar for me in return. I smiled and told him there was no need for that, and passed over the quarters. But he kept on trying to give me the bill saying, "No, no! This is your money! I cannot just take your money." I laughed and refused it again letting him know I had plenty of quarters and it was certainly not a big deal. He insisted and kept his arm outstretched with it. I put my wallet away and told him to simply pay it forward to the next person. Finally, he rescinded. Though now he had a huge smile on his face and so did I. And he expressed his great appreciation one more time before I turned to go. 

I felt almost surprised by the immense gratitude this stranger had for my extremely simple act. But what I was even more surprised about above all was the palpable shift I felt in my energy afterwards as I walked down the sidewalk, feeling the newfound lightness in my steps. The negativity that had started to fester from the crosswalk fiasco came to an end. It was as if the nice encounter completely negated the negative one. And I found some relief in being reminded of the potential of that happening... how easily I can be brought back if I just let myself.

My sister Danielle once said, "Life is really a summation of your days. If you have a lot of good days, you'll have a pretty good life." I took a second to consider this idea more and next asked myself, well what is deemed a good day then?

Well, if a good life is a summation of the good days, then I think a good day must be a summation of the good moments. If you have a lot of good moments, you'll have a pretty good day. And that's a new mantra I'd like to start each morning with, even if it means really overusing the word 'good'. 

I know there will certainly be days where it'll be challenging to shift my focus to these small moments of joy or gratitude or sharing a smile. Some days just suck and I'll leave it at that. BUT, if I can somehow find at least one small win at some point to cancel out one of the losses, then I think that goes down as a 'win' in my book. 

So, I've learned a new way to keep score of the ups and downs in this unpredictable and highly imperfect game of life. And also of the importance of always carrying around a few extra quarters.

Photo with Bert Jacobs, co-founder of Life Is Good