#327: More Celebrating
I took more time this year than I have in the past to think and journal about my new year's resolutions. But I also took some time to think more about the idea of having resolutions in general. Aka the real "why" behind them. And I thought how, while I do think it's great to begin each year by coming up with fresh goals and setting new intentions, I think it's equally important to reflect on the past year and honor the achievements and wins, or any changes that were meaningful. I love the practice of celebrating a bit more (before moving onto the next thing), and reveling in those wins no matter how large or small they are. So I am sharing a note below that my sister wrote towards the end of 2022 that inspired me to pause and appreciate the positive changes that have occurred in my life over the last year.
Happy New Year to this wonderful community! I look forward to a great 2023 with you all!
- Amanda
More Celebrating
A year ago today I was averaging 1-3 hours of sleep a night. Every day was just about surviving. I had accidentally weaned baby E as I was intentionally weaning big E because tandem nursing amongst all the other things going on at the time had taken its toll on me. I was emotionally devastated & physically exhausted & so mentally blurred I never knew if I was doing the “right thing”. And it was so hard to see how it was ever going to get any better. I was probably in the midst of some postpartum hormonal distress & anxiety & depression & didn’t think of it that way. I was just hard on myself (and everyone). I never found consistent therapeutic support, which was probably necessary in hindsight. But I am grateful for friends & family & lactation consultants & coaches & yoga teachers and babysitters who little by little, piece by piece helped me take baby steps to get where I am today.
Waking up feeling rested & good & inspired pretty much brings tears to my eyes on a regular basis. I’m just overwhelmed with relief & gratitude. And while I celebrate these feelings I also humbly remind myself of the cyclical ways of nature. But for now, more celebrating. Because I’ve also worked really hard to keep going and to get here, even if the “here” is just this very moment as I’m writing.
I am so thoroughly enjoying our current ritualistic routines. A few minutes to myself in the mornings. Starting the mornings with the trees for all of us and some one on one time with little E. Two days a week for my self studies and a bit of work again too. I’m so wholeheartedly loving studying Yoga through Eastern traditions focusing on Mental Health. And connecting to people with different abilities & supporting their passions.
I love my full days with my little ones & the time we are all together as a blended family. E is at the age where we can talk about deeper topics and I relish in her questions about food sovereignty & diversity & community matters. I’m so grateful and privileged to have this time with them. And this time and ability to feel like Me again, too, pursuing the things that bring me joy & freedom. A big deep breath as the sun bathes my face on this glorious train ride.
