#328: Did We Win?

Last Monday night, as Pip had shared about as a key spotlight point in the last CV Fridays piece, Damar Hamlin, an American football player for the Buffalo Bills went into cardiac arrest on the field after making a tackle.

As the week unfolded, prayers and concern rose from seemingly every corner.  Many Americans will remember the week for the rest of their lives as we were in solidarity with regard to one 24-year-old man’s life.  And incredibly, within a few days, the signs were positive toward his survival.  When he awoke, the first thing he asked was “Did We Win?”

Upon reading Pip's note, Irwin felt impelled to think more deeply about who the "WE" really is and becomes, especially perhaps during times of hardship.  This may be an ongoing inquiry. It was so interesting for me to consider more about how there may be circles of "we" and who may be included in each of those inner and outer circles. I will stop there and share Irwin's thoughtful reflection below.  And if anyone hasn't seen Pip's original note, please reach out and I am happy to forward it to you.

- Amanda

Did We Win?

Who is the WE?

(PIP LEAD:    Damar Hamlin asked “Did we win?” when he awoke.  Many – including myself – cried even hearing him utter anything but could he have said anything more powerful? ) 

Who is the WE?

I love that question and can’t help but reflect.

Here are three WE's.

Damar’s WE. Damar was clearly referring to his Buffalo Bills team. The WE for which he plays for and for which every day he has made sacrifices. How powerful and inspiring that as he woke from near death his first identification was with his team. This is his defining identity! Don’t “we” all at some level - despite, or perhaps because of, our radical individualism and autonomy - yearn to belong as fully to some group. The literal answer to Damar’s question is - no, WE didn’t win the game, it was canceled. But the most important truths are never literal.

Buffalo Bills WE. This WE is Damar’s teammates and coaches who actually heard Damar ask, “who won”.  I can only imagine that to a person most of them gasped in respect hearing Damar’s first words as those words embodied a remarkable commitment to his teammates (and to winning the football game - which is related to the drive and ambition these NFL players share or would not be NFL players). And all knew yes yes WE won - meaning our team and Damar’s family and everyone associated with the Bills and every NFL fan and every one who thought and prayed for this young man’s health won because Damar is alive. 

WE who heard or read about Damar asking “who won”. This is the largest WE as it includes people who know nothing about football and may even oppose football as too violent. This WE heard about Damar collapsing, followed the story as it went viral, and felt profound compassion for Damar and his family and see hope that he would be okay. This WE (all of us) felt inspired and awed that at a moment when WE were all focused on Damar and expected Damar to be focused on him-self he was WE-centered. 

It’s interesting how each WE is more expansive beginning with Damar’s and extending to millions and millions of people. And look how what winning means is informed by the nature of our WE. I have a feeling, that as heart-opening as this situation is, this is true in every sector. A great business - one in which every stakeholder is cared for as best as possible - has a pretty big WE. 

Dr. Timothy Pritts, division chief of general surgery at the University of Cincinnati, is reported to have responded to Damar’s question:  “You’ve won the game of life.”

The bigger the WE the bigger the win.