#170: Strong, Light, Flexible
One of my new year's resolutions is to be less hard on myself ... to laugh at the mistakes, to have more positive self-talk, to trust my own intuition more, and to simply stress less about my daily agendas. Because deep down I know it will all get done and that I am always trying my best - so why add so much anxiety and overthinking into the mix? Jaime's blog reminds me of the power of believing in myself and of being mindful of feelings, my energy, my needs, and my growth. AND, to not let a long cold winter freeze my ability to make, even seed-like, changes to my life ;) The growth will happen naturally when I begin first by getting more in touch with what I believe I really am. Thanks Jaime!
-Amanda
Strong, Light, Flexible
Awhile ago I started this practice of only checking my emails on my computer during designated hours of the day. Granted, I have a work-life that allows me the liberty to do this...but still, it's been such a great way for me to: 1. Pay attention to the people in the room with me and not my phone. 2. Be fully present when I am reading emails. I don't rush through them or see them as a drag...I enjoy sitting down to dig into them when the time is right. But, that's not actually what I intended to write about. It's just that I took a really long break from emails during the holidays and when I finally sat down at my desk yesterday I read so many wonderful CFC blogs in a row it really made my day. And then, this morning, I found myself reliving a few of the things I had pulled from those pieces.
To start, I was heading to a morning yoga class right as a snow squall was beginning. I literally drove into it. And it was just as someone said in their anti-pet peeves - I felt like I was in a snow globe and it made me instantly happy/giddy. I felt like a kid and I think I smiled the whole way to yoga.
After that I started really thinking about seeing the world through a lens of gratitude. Not only being grateful for the good and obvious things, but also for the difficult...for the seemingly "bad" things. We've had a few major shifts in our family life recently, and at first I was tempted to be afraid of the change. And then I started thinking, what if this isn't a bad thing. What if it is a gift? What if this is happening FOR us? And I started writing a list of all the potential benefits of these "scary" changes. I found that once I started I couldn't stop. Until finally, I started really believing that these scary changes WERE gifts! And now I've taken on a whole new perspective and have a more positive, even excited, attitude about what's to come from this.
Which also applies to my "New Years resolutions". Every year I make a practice of reflecting on my life during the beginning of the year. I try to take a bird's eye view of my life in the areas of purpose/career, physical health, financial, social and community wellbeing and see where I'd like to expand in each of these areas. I've never been one to set weight loss goals or focus on changing eating habits necessarily (although it seems so much of the world wants us to focus n this)...I don't have specific numbers I want to hit in any of those areas. I'm more motivated by feelings. I do some movement (usually yoga or hiking) and then I find some quiet space and literally just breathe and see what comes up for me. This year, it was a clear: strong, light, flexible. Those words just kept appearing. And while I first applied this in the physical sense...I then began to realize it was also applying to my mental and spiritual goals. I want to feel strong, light and flexible. I want to be strong, light and flexible. Until, finally, in this morning's yoga class, (after practicing for an hour for the 7th straight day!) (as a new Mom, that hasn't happened in a longggg time) I whispered to myself, "I am strong, light and flexible". It could feel awkward to say that out loud, since we are so conditioned to feel like we're "not supposed to love ourselves".
So I think to myself: Be mindful of these resolutions leading you to believe that there's something in you that needs fixing. Be mindful of allowing these goals to make you believe that you're not good enough where you are now....or that somehow you'll be better, more loved, more successful when you achieve your goal.
Goals and resolutions are great. It's a wonderful thing to feel a desire and set your heart after it. I've just found that the best feeling, AND the best motivation (here and now, and then, too, when we "reach our goal") is when we love and nurture ourselves where we're at today, however we are......when we find JOY in the process. I don't think the resolutions "work" or really mean anything significant when they feel like a burden. I think that kinda defeats the purpose. I see people set goals to "eat better", "work out more" or "lose 5 lbs in two weeks" and when they "come up short" one day or one week, they feel like they've failed. They lose motivation.
I think people can feel defined by their goals and their ability to reach or not reach them. I simply like to define myself first. And let that definition be that I am whole and perfectly well just as I am - that I have everything in me already that I need. And then I let my goals be a guide.
And lastly, inspired by something I read, it's January. It's still cold and dark. We're still in the heart of winter. I've always loved the quote: nature doesn't rush, yet everything is accomplished. Sometimes I think New Years feels like I need to jump out there and GO! Strong and hard right away. Otherwise, we'll fail, right?! We need to take the bull by the horns!
I'm taking a different approach. I'm really nurturing my seeds this year. I see my blossom: strong, light, flexible. I'm sitting with that every day. There will be a bloom likely sometime in Spring. But I'm not jumping on a scale. I'm not beating myself up for losing patience when my baby won't sleep (ok at least I'm not doing that evvverrry day.) I'm gonna nurture these seeds gently with love for the rest of winter...being dedicated to keeping them warm. Doing little things here and there when they call to me. And TRUSTING in the process that these sweet seeds will unfold on their own time.
It's been a wonderful first week of January. I'm feeling good about where I'm at right now and curious about what's to come.