#167: Everyone Starts as a Stranger

Pip's piece below immediately reminded me of the quote, "Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always."  Sometimes I think it just takes one compliment, one hello, or one smile to make someone's day so much brighter. Last week, something funny happened. I was having a stressful afternoon, and as I was walking home from my internship, two guys were flying by on their skateboards, and one reached his hand out to me simply for a high-five as he rolled by. After I high fived him back, I heard him shout, "Yeaaaah!" to his buddy. I started cracking up to myself. Sometimes ESPECIALLY a stranger's act of acknowledgement can be just what I need to feel better about the day. Kind strangers remind me that we are all taking on this crazy world together. And even when speeding by on a skateboard and doing many different things throughout the day, there's always time to put on the brakes and recognize others, even if just for a moment. Thanks for bringing this to light Pip! 

- Amanda 

“EVERYONE STARTS AS A STRANGER”

One morning last week in the Black Cow, I had the thought that every single relationship I have in my life that I consider super important (which there are a LOT) started out as “stranger”.   

Every single one started out there and somehow progressed.  

Thankfully. 

Yet… we systematically teach “stranger danger”.

This seems to be a super duper societal challenge if we wish for wide-scale empathy (which I do) as well as intimate friendships (which I do).  If we want to create “bridges” in the world (which I do) we would be helped if we could eliminate “stranger” as opposed to “reinforcing” it.    

“Stranger” seems to be the available on-ramp to all relationships.

Kelly as “stranger”?  

Totally.  

I still remember Kelly as “stranger” and I was self-conscious (afraid of her judgments) of what she might think of me.  I didn’t worry about “stranger danger” so much as “stranger rejection” I suppose!

One thing I love about Kelly that has grown this past year: 

She stops strangers and says positive powerful things to them that I suspect warm their hearts and eliminates “stranger”.

The other night at a late dinner at Boca here in Saratoga, there was a woman likely in her 20’s talking with a couple of friends at the other end of the bar. (Kelly and I like eating at bars next to each other so I can beat her at gin).  This young woman was lightly bemoaning that her family wasn’t doing anything with her for her birthday the next day in something leaning towards a “woe is me” victimization.   I’ve been there!  Maybe you have as well at some point in life.  So, as we were heading out and passing by her, Kelly placed a light hand on her shoulder, made eye contact and softly said, “I hope you have a great birthday tomorrow” with her gorgeous smile which seemed to induce a gorgeous heart-warmed smile in return.

As we left and were walking back home holding hands, I felt even luckier than normal to share so much of my life with someone so thoughtful and generous and unafraid and kind with strangers.