#52: Road Makers - Thought of the Week

(FROM PIP)

I am a part of a group called Road Makers.

I am so fortunate to have these relationships and the space that people inside this group have generated for one another.

The group of people in the Community For Change are dominated by the element of Road Making and maybe sometime soon I will write on that.

The Road Makers have had a habit of sharing “a thought of the week” each week on a rotating basis.    It has been almost two years since Jags wrote this amazing thought of the week…    I left in a few of the emails exchanged and most importantly JB’s at the end along with an audio file.

Jags and JB were courageous then to share their lives with us so thoroughly and I think such a space is an amazing one for a community.

I can’t thank you two enough for creating the space of this group.

pip

(FROM JAGS WALIA)

“ROAD MAKERS:  THOUGHT OF THE WEEK” – JAGS”


PART #1: JAGS TO ROAD MAKERS

On May 13, 2016, at 11:16 AM, Walia, J (Jags) <jags.walia@apg-am.nl<mailto:jags.walia@apg-am.nl>> wrote:

Hello lovely people !

This week I had one thought that stayed with me all week.

When I was 16-18 years old, I knew a girl called Mira. We used to study Maths together, she knew statistics, and could explain it to me. She found me really funny - she would laugh hard- with tears coming out, and she was good looking.

When I got to 17 or 18, any girl who paid attention to me was gonna get my attention back. We were friends but I was falling in love or something close enough to that, and I should have asked her out on a date, I wanted to, I thought about asking her in a chemistry class once, all the other kids had finally gone and finally no one was around for about 10 long seconds, but I didn't have the guts. I just stood there smiling and looking at her hair in the sunlight, and I didn't say anything. I just enjoyed the view. I was 18.

On Friday May 3rd 1991, me and Mira were leaving the library where we'd study, sun was out and we said good bye around 6pm, she was walking away, I was busy watching her walk away, and just noticed how sun tanned her legs looked. Wow.

That night she was going to the airport to pick up her sister who was flying back from Spain. So we planned to meet on Monday night.

The next day, on Saturday, I came home from playing hockey, and when my dad opened the front door, he said some friends of mine phoned to say Mira had been in a car accident the night before, and is now in the hospital. I called her house, they said the family had been in a car accident, her sister had died, so had another cousin in the car, and that Mira was in hospital in a coma. I went to the hospital (a lot), sometimes talking to her while she was in a coma, when the doctors/family let me, and sometimes I'd write letters to her while I was at home or in class, and then go to hospital and read them to her.

On Friday May 10th 1991 she died. I was standing next to her dad in the hospital at the time, we both got out of the lift together when they told us and separated us. I found myself sitting in the stairs of the fire exit of the hospital because all the family was in the hall way, and I wanted to be away from them, and I didn't know what else to do. When I sat on the stairs of the fire exit, I smelt her perfume, I looked around but no one was there, and then I continued crying.

This week, that's all I 've been thinking about, all week long. It was 25 years ago on Tuesday. It's got nothing to do with road making, but that's the only thought I had this week. Glad to share it with you.






PART #2: MO TO JAGS (and all)

Jags,
Thanks for sharing - what is has to do with Road Making is that gives us another glimpse of your care for others and the perspective you carry. Thanks!! Mo






PART #3: PIP TO JAGS (and all)

Thank you Jags... you are so courageous in feeling and speaking your truth and I am inspired by you.

You told me that story before and why Bobby Jean is your favorite Springsteen song because it was about not being able to say goodbye to someone you love... I'm going to put that song on right now.

And last weekend Jaime Posa and her sisters all courageously shared about their father who died and each of them inspired me to be a better man just like you do.... and by better maybe I mean more present, loving, kind, grateful, courageous, and communicative about my love.

With love, care and fun in mind!

Pip






PART #4: JAGS TO PIP (and all)



Pip - i am so glad that you remembered why Bobby Jean was my favourite song. Thank you for listening so well - it means a lot to me.

Jags

Sent from my iPhone







PART #5:        JB TO JAGS

Jags,

Your note and the group's responses had a profound effect on me all weekend. I thought about many things- friends I wish I could still talk to - but also the numerous times you told a joke or heartily laughed at Roadmakers. It's a wonderful laugh. A real laugh of joy- from someone who has known its opposite.

I had forgotten about the song Bobby Jean- but then I read the words and was determined to not forget them. I went downstairs and messed on my guitar some.

I figured if I were to share, and show as least some requitted measure of courage/vulnerability, I would send this on.

It's just ok. But the words and your story are now part of me.

Thank you Jags. Thank you Roadmakers,

JB

(1:36am)