#106: To See and Be Seen

One of my ten favorite songs is by Garth Brooks: “Standing Outside The Fire”

“They call them ‘strong’ – those who can face this world alone… who seem to get by on their own… those who will never take a fall…

“They call them ‘weak’…  Who are unable to resist… the slightest chance love might exist… and for that forsake it all… they’re so hell-bent on giving, walking a wire, convinced it’s not living if you stand outside the fire…”

For me this song suggests that we get confused in our human social norms…   being “strong” is meant to never show vulnerability…   given how we all are raised maybe being strong is just the opposite…

I have a thought that the popularity of Brene Brown (who I love!) and many others suggests that there is an emergent amazing critical vital wonderful scary empowering threatening set of conversations alive in the world today and only growingly mainstream (and IN business as well as everywhere else)  which would have been deemed socially weird just 50 years ago…  Excelsior!

PIP

 Amanda Posa       amandaposaj@gmail.com 

To See and Be Seen

I watched a Ted Talk this week titled, "The Power of Vulnerability." The speaker, Brene Brown, emphasized the importance of “letting ourselves be deeply and vulnerably seen… to love with our whole hearts even though there’s no guarantee.” 

She said, “To feel vulnerable means I’m alive. And I must stop controlling and predicting because it is not possible to selectively numb difficult feelings.” 

Her words gave me chills and made me think about so many different circumstances in my existence. But they especially made me think about one particular really difficult part of my life. 

When my dad passed away in a motor cycle accident in 2016, I had no idea how to attempt to navigate through my world. Undoubtedly I received countless text messages from family and friends. Many of them read very similar words and held a common underlying theme.

“You are going to get through this.” 

"Be strong Amanda.” 

“You are so strong."

I appreciated all of the words of consolation from others, but there was one family friend that said something strikingly different. And that I’ll never forget to this day. 

She wrote, “Now is the time to be anything and everything but strong. I hope you allow yourself to cry and be angry and break down and let your feelings show themselves. Give rein to your fragility. By breaking down, you also allow others around you to do the same.” 

After reading that text aloud, there was a short wave of silence that imbued over my mom and my sisters and I. And as quiet tears trickled down my swollen face at that moment, I felt a little more at peace. 

I think I am better off when I listen to as oppose to inadvertently suppress my feelings and emotions (as well as others). As Brene also said, “Vulnerability can be embraced. It can even be the birthplace of joy, creativity, belonging, and love. It's not something to be numbed.” 

I now have a different outlook - Through my tough time, being vulnerable allowed me to recognize and more deeply understand my feelings and therefore myself. And I think that the better I know myself and wholeheartedly feel an intimacy with my own emotions, the more compassionately I can then understand and love others too. And the more I experience comfort in my discomforts, the more I can recognize and be present in a nurturing community with others.  

To see and be seen… how beautiful.

Amanda's first-person bio:

I am currently in my fourth year at the University of Florida. I am studying Education and Sustainability Studies as I have a deep passion for both teaching children and for caring for the environment. I seek work, people, and environments that align with my core values of empathy, compassion, and conscientiousness. My biggest joy is when I can be of sincere help to someone or something that needs me. Whether that means putting in great efforts to go green, supporting the earth and its resources, or opening my ears to listen and arms to hug someone who needs support, I always find my motivation when I see betterment due in part by my actions.