#265: Disappointment Lessons

Muayyad wrote a piece back in September including a list of his personal and professional aspirations, deeply reflecting on how there is always room to improve and grow on an individual level and what that means to him. (Link to piece)

Now, Muayyad has written yet another self-reflective piece below where he highlights his assessment of one specific intention from his self-portrait through recent experiences. I love that Muayyad so willingly shares bits and pieces of this introspective journey, and what he personally does to strive for his goals and yearnings. And I can surely relate in that sometimes, it simply takes writing about the journey to converge all the thoughts together and see them more clearly and objectively.

- Amanda

DISAPPOINTMENT LESSONS

Last week, I defied one of my self-portrait edicts of not letting disappointment linger. I was humbled by a two-dose disappointment case, disappointment in work and people. The definition of disappointment is “Sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one's hopes or expectations.” Were my hopes so high that guaranteed disappointment? I poured my heart and soul into the work, so why it was not received as I expected? And why my friend who I trusted as an ally turned out to be an antagonist? Lingering questions!

First, work-related – some folks thought of the work as “thought leadership” and dealt with a new frontier while others (their problem not mine) missed the message. The lesson for me is that I must understand the audience better, not all have the same background and understanding as I deem and see. A message that can be received correctly needs proper formulation, errorless transmission medium, and audience tuned to the subject. The bifurcation of audiences is a tough nut to crack, better have two separate meetings! The risk of having one large audience is that the message must be toned down to the least common denominator which will bore the well-informed – a tutorial with no new exciting information.

Second, people – a tougher question to deal with. My face was on fire with a bolt of adrenaline that froze instead of exciting me such that I could not answer the objections. I got hung up with what motivates a person to publicly come against you. An answer may be multi-layered. That person has been festering for a while and did not have enough fortitude to challenge you, thus it is more an accumulation of past dealings – not aware or oblivious to – that caused them to snap. Lesson for me, look deeper and find out what precipitated the perceived sudden shift in behavior? If the event shows the true character of the person, then better off ending the relationship and consider it as a blessing in disguise. Otherwise, tune in to your close friends and tackle small situations before they accumulate.

I frequently face disappointments in various forms, no one is immune. But, best to not let it linger, as I professed in my self-portrait.

PS: My putting pen-to-paper on this issue is a way of dealing professionally and psychologically with “DISAPPOINTMENT”.