#257: Stories I Might Tell You One Day

The vivid picture Jaime paints in her words and phrases teleports me into another world; it’s either the past, before I had a partner and family, or another dimension where I decide to be Corey Solo. In those times, my heart beat with a deep affection for the mystery of life’s path. It sometimes felt small to consider that my love could be directed toward one person or another, when I was fully in wonder with the feeling of my experience in the world. It occurs to me, after reading this piece, that I still have the world as my first partner; all it takes is a simple shift of my point of view to kindle the flame.

- Corey

STORIES I MIGHT TELL YOU ONE DAY ~

For almost 9 years I was in love
In love with a way of life
That left me alone
Most nights
In my bed.
I never called myself wanderlust,
no.
I sought community
Beyond the unseen borders I was born between,
Boundaries that claimed me
But that I couldn’t claim as my own.
So I walked
In search of a freedom
And a belonging
That made sense to me.
Privileged to do so,
Yes.
Still, it was better than staying.
I stumbled by accident,
With good intentions,
And sometimes, without.
I was young and learning and sometimes the only way to learn is by living longer.
Young, able, open-hearted, wide-eyed,
Curious
And responsible for me only.
i was in love
With the way the winds blew my hair on motorbikes
With the way I could sit down with any family
And any plate of tortillas
Or put my feet up in any hammock
And feel completely content
And alive in my being.
I searched for no sense of purpose
It was just there.
The monkey’s wise, playful and loving nature.
A forever forest of trees.
Greens and blues so vibrant
And hand laid bricks stretching generations of wisdom.
simple homes with few possessions.
Tree stumps for sitting.
Work that paid enough for a life of this kind
Enough to keep me working
and enough to keep me nourished
And not enough to lose myself to temptations.
What a hard life to leave
Living alone
And in love.
Meanwhile everyone asked me about my partner
And I smiled
And changed my responses
To each person that asked
Because inside was the answer that no one wanted to hear
Except me.
The world is my partner.
And I am to thee.
And until I feel complete in exploring this relationship
Until I see all the ways I am inside each and every living being
And they in me
I will not look for the one to walk beside me.
I must be strong in my step
And light in my being
Before I can hold out my hand
Without losing my direction.
All this is inside me
When I’m asked.
When I smile and tell them some simple reduced version of this
that will never amount to this truth.
And I don't mind their looks and their mind wanderings.
I had a plan.
And it worked for me.