CFC Blog #227: Grace and Trust
If you’re doing a double take asking yourself “didn’t they send this blog out on Friday?” – the answer is yes, we did! Or at least a different version of it. We (Pip, Corey, Amanda, and myself) decided to revise my blog a bit since upon another read, it didn’t totally fit into our CFC Blog design principles. I also thought this would be a great opportunity to share with our CFC readers what those design principles are, since every blog we send out is vetted to ensure fit:
(1) We aim to keep blogs around 400 words or less – we promise people 90 second reads and we want to keep that promise.
(2) We avoid coming across as advising – this is where my blog on Friday fell short. We never want it to seem like the writer knows best or can speak on behalf of others.
(3) We publish blogs that speak from personal experience – this is very much related to #2.
So now you have a glimpse into what goes on on the backend around here! All of these principles also tie into our larger design principles for the entire CFC such as non-obligation, student-mindedness, joy, and deep listening. I hope you will extend me some ~grace~ (how fitting!) and enjoy this second edition of my blog.
- Lauren
Grace and Trust - Revised
I know some people that determine a word of the year as a sort of new year's resolution – they pick a word they want to focus on for that year, a word they want to strive towards. Can I pick a word of the year almost ten months into it?
I want my word of the year to be grace.
To me, grace means seeing others for where they are at. No questions. Respecting needs or desires with no judgement. It is both internal and external.
I think of the image of communion at my church. It’s given by intinction, meaning that someone is giving you the bread and the wine, repeating a liturgy before you eat and drink.
This spiritual practice reminds me that grace is something that cannot be earned, rewarded, or merited – I really do see it is a free gift that can only be given to you by someone else (or you could give it to yourself).
I have a thought that we could maybe all give a little more grace this year.
My friend and I went to an amazing new gelato place across the street from us last week. An older gentleman was standing at the door, looking apprehensive to come in and join the line. I thought he was maybe just waiting for someone, but my friend was smart enough to realize he was nervous to be inside with a crowd and went over and asked through her mask, “Sir, can I bring your ice cream out to you? Do you know what flavor you want?”
He asked for chocolate in cone as a sense of relief came over his face.
To me, the gift of grace is perhaps a reminder of relationships and the powerful things I have seen happen when we operate from a place of love.
There is a quote that rocked me when I first read it: “social change moves at the speed of relationships. Relationships move at the speed of trust.” Distrust seems to be fraught throughout our country – and I have been thinking that perhaps unconditional “no questions asked” grace could be an antidote to that.
And…I have to remind myself that I can also give myself grace. I have a sticky note on the wall above my desk with a note I took down from Dorie Blesoff during a CFC call: “our internal work is a service to others.” I’ve come to see how giving myself grace, even self-forgiveness, strengthens the connection to both myself and to the people around me.