CFC Blog #249: The Art of Showing Up

When hanging Christmas Decorations a couple weeks back, I was surprised at how quickly my hammer began to feel like an extension of my arm. As if with each swing, we became more closely attuned to each other. It felt the same for me this year with video calls. Each one taught me how to allow for more humanity and honesty to exist in the medium, creating a space for me to show up more fully as myself for the other person on the line. At first, practice with any tool is clumsy, then robotic, until finally smoothness, artistry, and oneness are achieved. Lauren’s piece reminds me that the neither the tool, nor the user, need to be perfect for connection to happen.

-Corey

The Art of Showing Up

I remember hearing a few years ago about a virtual doctor being the one to deliver the news to a patient that there was nothing they could do to further her treatment and she would most likely not live until the end of the week (he was correct). The family was quite upset about this.
 
One of my favorite Christian writers and pastors has a big tattoo of Mary Magdalene on her, and she calls her “The Patron Saint of Showing Up.” In the Bible, Mary Magdalene was the last one at the cross during Jesus’ crucifixion and was the first one to find that the tomb was empty after his resurrection. “Showing up” could also mean “accompaniment.” Paul Farmer, a doctor who works in low-income countries, is famous for practicing this with his patients. "To accompany someone,” he says, “is to go somewhere with him or her, to break bread together, to be present on a journey with a beginning and an end…there’s an element of mystery and openness.”

I remember thinking about all of this back in 2019, and thinking that when it comes to matters of life and death, maybe only humans, in the flesh, can practice the art of showing up. Could we ever send a piece of machinery in our place to be with a friend in times of tragedy – or in times of celebration? 

2020 has shown us that…sometimes you have to. And it might just work. 

Virtual weddings. Gender reveals. New job celebrations. Tele-therapy sessions. My family FaceTimed my grandfather from his hospital bed on Thanksgiving. We would have brought a full feast to the hospital, but this year we couldn’t. 

I used to think technology was an inadequate medium to practice the art of showing up, but I think 2020 has proved that – with some adjustments and some intentionality – it very much can be.

There is a certain power of just “being present” that only humans possess, I think. One day we’ll be able to touch and hug again, but for now I hope technology continues to suffice.