CFC Blog #113: Problems and Solutions

This is such a simple but beautiful story. I think that, if only we as adults could resolve our differences so quickly... the world wouldn't be the same. 

- Danielle 

Problems and Solutions 

I have two eight year old boys in my practicum setting at an elementary school here in Gainesville. Cameron and Brayden each have a learning disability. They both struggle at times to complete their classwork. Cameron and Brayden also push each other, steal each other's pencils, make hurtful comments, name-call... I could go on. Though they do not sit near one another in the classroom, I have never seen them share a single positive interaction. 

Last week, my mentor teacher passed around a jar of names for each student to randomly pick a partner from for a math review packet. Cameron picked the popsicle stick out of the jar that read Brayden's name. He immediately started refusing, saying that he would not work with him and needs to pick a new name. My mentor teacher hesitated, then said, "You know what? You two need to learn to look past your problems and work with one another." 

Cameron rolled his eyes and angrily picked up his math packet. He then grabbed a cushion and sat on it on the opposite side of the room as Brayden. I reminded them that they needed to find a place to sit together to complete the packet. After much arduous persuasion, both boys reluctantly sat at a table together. 

It began with them fighting over who gets which chair. Then they started calling one another stupid. I gently told them they needed to work on the same math problem together without one of them going ahead. But immediately Cameron said, "Nope I'm leaving him behind," and started racing through problems. I expressed my discomfort and reminded them that they needed to talk through the math questions. Brayden said, "We are enemies. So that's why we just can't. We can't stand to be around each other." 

It was a sad situation to witness. But I tried my best to keep my mouth closed and let it play out, hoping that they would figure out a solution and resolve their troubles. 

 But they kept working at different paces, though I could tell Brayden really needed a buddy for help. 

Every once in awhile, the silence was broken by mean comments under their breath. I was just about to lose all hope. But a moment later, Brayden says, "Ugh. My butt hurts bad from this chair."  Cameron looked over, slowly put his pencil down, and got up to grab Brayden a pillow to go on his chair. 

A softer look came over Brayden's face as he accepted the pillow. He said, "Thanks Cameron. I'm sorry for being mean to you."

 "It's okay." Cameron said. "What problem are you on?"

 The boys ended up working through the rest of the packet together, helping and even laughing with one another. It was all so simple, but so beautiful to witness. And it showed me how far one effortless caring act can go. And how the simple act can be the catalyst for broken pieces of a relationship to be glued back together, almost instantaneously. 

I didn't have to intervene or explicitly teach them about kindness. These little humans already had it in their hearts.